Friday, August 31, 2012

Welcome to My Journey

As the little paragraph above states, I am new to this "stay at home" thing.  Until June of this year, I worked full time as a second-grade teacher.  For years I was on the go, teaching my bubbly second graders, developing relationships with parents and colleagues, chasing after even more education to help my career.  Somewhere sprinkled in there I volunteered for different causes, helped those in need, provided a listening ear, and dispensed advice on how to keep it all together and keep family balance.  Life was good.

Or so I thought.

In all of the busyness of life, I failed to realize the unfairness of my activities and their impact on my children.  In my mind, I was doing all of these things for them.  You know, showing them how to help others, be a good role model, work hard, etc.  More recent events in my life have shown me that my mindset was wrong.  It didn't matter if I showed them how to be a good student, friend, person from afar.  I realized I need to be available to do those things with them.

I also failed to realize the impact my busyness was having on my husband.  Many evenings I begged off requests from him to watch a movie or talk because I had to do "just one more thing."  Many nights he went to sleep with me still clicking away at the computer, looking for some nugget to add to my lesson plans, writing extra activities, catching up on email, etc.  Business as usual.  However, after an argument one night, I realized something had to be done.

So begins the journey of learning how to stop relying on my ideas of what needs have to be met and start listening to my family.  More importantly, learning how to listen to God's guidance in the midst of it all so I can be the wife and mother He has called me to be.

I hope you'll join me on my journey.